The mouth trap

Notes compiled after reading:
The Mouth Trap by Gary Seigel
http://www.themouthtrap.com/

[1] our thoughts -> feeling -> behavior.
Get some burning coals into a pit.
Can you walk across burn free ?

[2] Avoid being consumed by people negative words...

[3] Event + Response = Outcome (what do you want ?)

[4] Know your audience

(i) Treat people the way thay want to be treated
Direct => Straight to core message , (+) instant decision , (-) drop verbal bomb without thinking
Indirect => Probe and research before making conclusion , (+) patience & attention to details (-) hold emotions & explode

Both direct and indirect personnel are vital in an organisation

(ii)
Open => extroverts - gain energy by interacting with others => words come out easily
Closed => introvert - gain energy from their own brains and inside themselves => value private space

............<self-contained>............
...........[A]Thinker | [D] Director....
indirect-.......................Direct..
...........[C]Relator | [B]Socializer...

............<.....Open.....>............

[A] Detail-Oriented Thinkers (close/indirect)
=================================
- Account for tiny details - *just the facts*
- value facts
- perfectionist - over analyse
- silence can be stifling
- greatest fear is making mistake

[B] Visionaries or Socializers (open/direct)
==============================
- *have fun,lively entertaining*
- love to meet people
- dress for occasion
- how's it going?
- approach them with energy & enthusiasm
- compliment and never embrass them in front of others
- don't cut them off although they bury you with words



[C] Consensus-Driven Relators (Open/indirect)
==================================
- *Great listeners, arbitrators*
- fair,loyal and cooperative
- "water cooler"
- "No problem", although knowing there is a problem
- Oversensiive and can't make direct decision
e.g. lunch ? anywhere is fine.
- read things into situation - be sincere and upfront
- Be expressive,casual,informal


[D] Director (close/direct)
=================================
- *run the show take responsibility seriously*
- work at fast pace
- cannot tolerate laziness
- desire straight forward approach
- competitive,chanllengig, demanding, controlling

People Attirbutes
==================
Dominance => seek control - 'i want it this way'
Socialbility => people skills - too high (customer service) irrate, too low (read doc,figures - accountant) quiet
Compliance => follow rules
Relaxation/Patience => able to handle repeated task, (high)-Account for detail (low)-Driven

Scipts
========
1. What do you want? (want) What's in the way? (Obtacle) Resolutiom
2. Describe Behaveiour, Tell Correction , Ask for commitment - attitude
3. What happened ? The feelings , The identity e.g as women
4. Find out the problem, agree problem exist, negotiate the solution,follow up,recognise and show appreciation

Impression Counts
=====================
1.Smile
2.Open
3.Front Lean
4.Touch - left hand, elbow
5.Eye Contact
6.Nod
7.Arm & Hand Movement - little gesticulation
8.Leg Movement


Humor
============
- can increse or decrease productivty
- place humor in right place
- deal in the open


Create engaging email that get a response not a reaction
========================================
- too short email "can't do it",
- aoid trigger phases => obviously,in the first place,need,should,can't
Tips:
1. Check out company's email policy
2. Create owbn e-mail policy
3. Plan & organise before typing
4. Create easy-to-find core message, reader should not be hunting
5. Include essential detail, Too much detail - attachment
6. Ensure proper grammar
7. Proofread
8. Customize meesgae for reader
9. Bads news deliver quickly
10. Don't waste reader's time - put subject in subject line
11. QTIP - Quit taking it personally - take full responsibility for your writing and get it right.

Got to watch what i say ....